Jennifer asks: Why do I cover this pain with drugs?

Because drugs are an easy choice for instant and temporary relief. The trouble is that they don't solve the problem or heal the source of the pain.

I have a granddaughter who used turn into a screaming scared  frantic emotional basket case at the prospect of removing a splinter. Now that she is nine she has finally resolved that having the splinter removed is less painful than allowing it to stay and fester.  She also knows that the removal is not nearly as bad as her fears.  This was a process of experience and maturity.

Most addicts are wimps emotionally. Because many of you started using early in life, at the first real onslaught of pain, you want to do whatever necessary to immediately make the pain stop. You have not had the chance to mature or work through a problem successfully.  Recovery unfortunately is not painless. It will require some work and eventually some digging out of festering emotional sores. But like my granddaughter you will discover that the pain is not nearly as bad as your fears and that the relief is lasting. 

Wendy asks: When will the cravings stop?

Many people who are recovering from the use of drugs or addiction of any sort, will ask the question "When will the cravings stop"?

The actual physical withdrawals from most drugs are over within a couple of weeks or less. However, the craving to use can go on for quite a while. This is because it has become a habit of your mind and emotions.

These thoughts and cravings will diminish over time because the less we feed a habit the weaker it gets and eventually it will die and fade away.

Most “cravings” are triggered by something we see, smell, feel, or think about in various ways.  When you sense the craving, try to recognize what  the actual trigger was. If it is something you can eliminate (like driving through a certain area, specific magazines, lighters, thoughts, etc) then remove them. Otherwise you must learn to retrain your mind and emotions. For instance; if the stress of driving home from work is a trigger find something relaxing to do as soon as you arrive. You could have a cup of tea, take a brisk walk or a bath. The trick is to find a substitute that is safe.

Often watching a TV show or reading a book is a quick way to find a diversion from the thoughts of using.  As you reward these triggers with safe replacements the desire to use or pick up weakens and the desire for the safe substitute grows. This type of change is progressive so don’t give up.  Also it helps to remind yourself that if you use you might have immediate gratification but you also will send yourself back down into the pit and have to  deal with all the grief and garbage that you are hoping to get away from..

Christy asks: Isn't recovery going to be boring?

The simple answer is no. But what I think you are really asking is will you be able to adapt to a slower lifestyle. For most addicts the process of obtaining a fix is a never-ending battle. Finding ways to get what is needed is both demanding and stressful. This lifestyle leads to adrenalin dependence much like that of addiction. 

When you are clean you do not experience the continually stressed state of wondering where and how you are going to obtain your substance of choice. At first this is a real culture shock. It will be helpful to keep busy going to meetings, church, small groups, movies etc. Although it will take a little time, your psyche to adjust and life will not seem to be going in slow motion.

In time you will discover that there is so much more to life than you were experiencing.  The pace of a clean life is slower, but the quality is so much more satisfying.